30 Things I’ve Learned In A Year Of Being On A Church Staff

A year is a long time. There’s a good amount of growth that happened, lessons learned, opportunities seized… and did I mention lessons learned? I’ve been on staff at a church for what is coming up on a year, and for my friends who are about to graduate college and go into the world of ministry, or even any other desk job for that matter, this is a list of 30 things (some with stories, some that are “tweetable”, some funny and some serious) that I’ve learned in my year of being an official “staff member” in a megachurch.

1. Don’t walk on the freshly waxed tile floors
No, seriously, I had to actually learn this. If the wax is wet, just don’t do it. Not even one step. You’ll regret it. And the facilities team will make you regret it. Just trust me, this was a good first one.

2. Facebook is OK, just not all day long.
If you’re in a relational job that requires you to be in contact with people at all times, Facebook is an incredible tool for staying connected. Creating events, promoting products, sharing stories, it’s incredible. But unless you WORK for Facebook, you better be filling most of your time with face-to-face interaction, or making plans, or actually working on said events. If you’re not careful you start reading articles about Sharknado which leads you to articles about things that kill more than sharks which leads to shopping for swimwear which leads to an article about bikinis being counter-productive to women’s rights which leads to a study of Susan B. Anthony and the next thing you know you’re late for your 3rd meeting this week and you’re considering shutting down your Facebook even though you need it in order to do a pretty basic part of your job… just trust me. Keep it in check.

3. When they put you in a closet for an office, it’s probably for your own good.
My office used to be a technical closet. I share space with amplifiers, cables, and an uninsulated wall. At first, it was kind of funny, but then I was offended. “Why would they put me in a closet by myself, secluded from everybody else?” I would think to myself. Then one day I was asked to turn my music down. I only had it up to probably 50% (which is actually pretty loud for my sound system), and and realized that if I shared office space NOBODY would get stuff done. Smart move, higher-ups.

4. Know how to say “I’m sorry”
There’s a definite way to say “I’m sorry” that actually means something. You can’t get away with begrudgingly apologizing under your breath like you did to your younger sibling in your childhood years. A real, honest apology is something to cling to. Saying sorry is a step to reestablishing trust. Sometimes you have a reason or excuse, but just let that be secondary. You’re foremost thought is “I dropped the ball. I messed up. That is on ME. If I can redeem that, I want to. If I can’t, I hope that my sincerest regret and apology can be meaningful.” Saying “I’m sorry” the right way may end up saving your job.

5. Know how to say “I forgive you”
Following right along the heels of the last one, forgiving people is a key skill I’ve had to learn to develop. Some days I get offended, and I may or may not have to express that in order for retribution to be made. So when someone extends a hand to reestablish that trust, don’t slap it away with judgement and offense, but instead return the hand, and make the path to mending that relationship. Forgiveness is a promise to not hold someone at fault for the sin that they committed against you.

6. It’s cool to eat leftovers from the staff luncheon, just don’t eat ALL the leftovers from the staff luncheon
One time I ate about 80% of the leftover salad from a staff lunch. I was on a health kick and that was all I ate for a few days. It was cool, except for the fact that there were other staff people who wanted to eat some salad on the 3rd day. There was definitely not enough for that person, and though they never said anything (they probably got over it pretty quick) I knew I stepped over a line.

7. Don’t play piano loudly and practice your new “solo song” in the room next to the prayer room
I think this one speaks for itself. Just don’t do it. You don’t know who’s in the prayer room and doesn’t want you singing “I’m lost and I can’t find you”. That’s probably not helping them out very much.

8. KEEP RECEIPTS
Sometimes you can have things paid back in the corporate world. I have a job where coffee with students is covered, because that’s a vital part of discipleship and having real conversations, and it happens a lot. A. LOT. So if you’re in a corporation or church that is able to budget “relational lunches” or “spiritual coffees” or “Jesus Jamba Juice” (we don’t do the latter at my church… as far as I know) then KEEP THE RECEIPTS! That $50 that I spent on coffee last month helped me cover the rest of my rent. It’ll help you, too.

9. Don’t forget about your “me time”
I have 3 extensions of my job, a girlfriend, a lot of friends, and then other ventures in the music world. Odds are that I’m at least WORKING on something at all times of the day. But seriously, keep your “me time” sacred. Don’t let people bug you on Monday and Wednesday mornings (that’s when I have my sabbath), and just spend time RESTING.

10. Nobody cares that you might be “overqualified”. You’re probably actually just barely “qualified” in the first place.
I came into my church job with 4 years of worship leading experience, split between 2 main churches and then a bunch of little “side gigs”. I thought I was hot stuff. I’ll just say that I’ve had some humbling experiences in the last year that have reminded me that I am, in fact, not at all overqualified for this job.

11. Keep your head up, but keep your nose level.
There’s a time where you have to hunker down and push through. Mine is at the beginning of the semester when my workload becomes mostly organization and administration, so I get pretty beat up until we get about a month into the semester. I say “keep your head up, Kev!” and push through. But just because I’m pushing through my own work stuff doesn’t mean I have to look down my nose at people who might not be as busy as me at that time or as involved as I am. Pompous jerks might get work done, but they’re not so good at being leaders. You won’t get a promotion if your pompous.

12. Have a venting buddy
Mine is typically my girlfriend, though I have a few key coworkers who I can vent to about things that are frustrating me about my job, life, money, roommates, technology, dreams, etc. Sometimes you vent to someone a little too much and they can no longer be your venting buddy. That’s ok, but find somebody else quickly. Sometimes it takes you venting and someone responding for you to see that the issue isn’t even the system you work under but is actually your self. That’s a sobering experience, but we all need it.

13. Don’t be passive aggressive
Just don’t.

14. Keep a log of your most convicting and challenging articles
You won’t always agree with articles, and sometimes those are the ones that you need to refer back to the most. Those will challenge and stretch you, and will be key to understanding topics that you don’t know, especially ones that come from spirituality and life experiences. Keep those articles written by a gay pride advocate, and keep in mind that that person who wrote that opinionated article is a person, too. You can still reap some understanding from them, even indirectly, and in a way that they didn’t necessarily intend for you to.

15. Keep your door open
When you have a sensitive conversation in your office, go ahead and close the door, but otherwise keep it open. Even on a busy day, you shouldn’t be so caught up in your “work” that you alienate people who might walk by and need to hear a kindhearted “hey stud!” from out of your office. That might end up saving somebody’s life depending on the person.

16. Don’t sleep at work
This one has a story. One time, while I was living at my mom’s, I got into an argument with my mom and stepdad. Things got pretty heated, so I went to the church and slept on the couch. For three days. Now, put aside the fact that I handled the situation like an angry child, one of my coworkers comes in every day at 5 am. For 3 days in a row he would drive into work and see a white SUV sitting in the parking lot. He put two and two together pretty quickly, seeing as how he was always the first one to work. I got a pretty lengthy email later that third day about it, and haven’t been able to do it since. Also, the shower water is cold at work, so just don’t put yourself through that.

17. When you say you’re going to do something, do it
OH MAN HAVE I DROPPED THE BALL ON THIS ONE. Sometimes you forget to put it on your calendar. Sometimes you overcommit yourself and think “well, nobody will notice”. Sometimes you just say yes out of pure obligation and intentionally choose to not do it in order to prove a point. Whichever thing you lean most towards, DONT DO IT! If you say you will drive to the other side of town to meet up for coffee, do it! If you say you’ll make it to a meeting, do it! If you say you’ll have a upcoming calendar of events scheduled by the end of the week, do it! Nothing says “I’m untrustworthy and not worth what you’re paying me” more than saying you’ll do something and then not coming through. If it’s an issue of overcommitment, then just say YOU CANT DO IT (kindly) and handle what you can handle (and what you are paid to handle).

18. Keep a suit at work
I don’t always need a suit at work. In fact, I can only remember one time that I needed to go grab my suit coat out of my office. But I feel like this is a good idea, because you never know what might go down, especially for me working at a church. So you should do it.

19. Always check the stall for toilet paper
Because the first time there isn’t any will be the the last time you don’t check. The alternative is a hilarious, and humbling experience.

20. Learn how to ask great open-ended questions
Especially in a church job, keep in mind that people are ready to share their thoughts, but don’t necessarily want you to share yours. So learn how to ask great open-ended questions in order for people to come to conclusions on their own. This is a brilliant skill for being a healthy influence in people’s lives, and it’s important to highlight the value that that person’s own independent thoughts are.

21. Learn how to say “I don’t know”
Church employees suck at this. Just putting that bluntly because we are a demographic who “have the answers” but maybe not the answers that people are looking for. Or we’re choosing to give answers to questions that people aren’t asking. Or, even worse, we’re not even answering people’s questions and instead are just preaching at them. Listen to people’s questions, and instead of being full of yourself and giving a fake answer (that might be entirely inaccurate) just say these three simple words: I don’t know. You actually gain credibility when you’re honest and humble enough to say that you don’t know, and then direct those questions toward the people who maybe do know.

22. Enjoy listening
I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder that made talking difficult until my treatment kicked in, so I learned how to keep my mouth shut and just listen and ask short, open-ended questions that helped that person share more of their story and thoughts. I have to be honest: I’ve found more joy in being physically forced to shut my yapper and listen to other people share their heart and simply ask questions to see people come to conclusions on their own than I ever have had giving a 20-minute sermon to somebody. Enjoy listening to people, and enjoy their stories.

23. Answer the phone
Don’t just text. Don’t just tweet. Don’t just set up face-to-face meetings (although those are the best, in my opinion). Actually talk on the phone, have conversations over the phone that are important, sometimes you and your friend won’t be able to afford gas to meet even halfway, so you HAVE to have that conversation over the phone. It’s vital that you can have meaningful, distraction-free conversation in many different ways. That might be one of your greatest assets to serving people’s hearts.

24. Answer the phone (part 2)
This is a different kind of answering the phone. When your supervisor calls you, or texts you, or emails you, respond as soon as possible. Even if it’s an “i don’t know” (see #21) that’s better than nothing. Overcommunication is strong communication.

25. Always have grace
People will mess up. Heck, YOU will mess up, even as great and perfect as you think you might be. You would hope that when you make an honest mistake that you would be extended grace, so do the same for others. There may come a point where someone is just deemed untrustworthy, but instead of being ungracious, delegate different tasks to that person. No relationship is worth you being condemning. Convicting, yes (look at Paul and Barnabas), but not condemning.

26. Sex jokes are not always appropriate
There are enough married couples in the church (basically all of my coworkers minus a few of us millenials) to where somebody is going to make a sex joke. about 99% of the time they are tasteful and absolutely within the realm of keeping sex and marriage sacred. It’s not like it’s a secret that the pastor and his wife have had sex! However, what might be totally fair and even kind of funny banter around the table of married people, might not be so funny or fair to the newly divorced woman or the struggling sex addict or the family who’s young kids are sitting next to them even though you might not have seen them because they were sitting in a chair and their head was lower than the table so you had no idea they were sitting there. Keep your audience in mind, this is a skill that goes with a lot of different kinds of struggles and personal convictions. My friend Andrew reminds me that there’s always risk in comedy.

27. Mourn with those who mourn
This one has hit me hard this year. I was always the guy who had input, who could “fix” people’s problems, who “just has the best advice!”. But a lot of the time it’s not advice that people are seeking. In fact, I would argue to say that 100% of the time, the first thing to do is to mourn alongside with the people who are mourning. If they want your input, they’ll ask. If they need your input, you’ll know, but not until after you mourn with them. Be a person that people know they can cry with, that’s far more important than being a “fixer”. Let Jesus do the fixin’.

28. Have some same-gender friends
I have a couple friends who are just more in touch with their feminine side. They respond a lot better to girls than they do guys. And that’s ok, but I’ve seen almost all of those friends walk away from their community and then say “I just didn’t feel too welcome”. My gut is to say “Well, DUH, all you did was hang out with chicks!”, but I try to put it in kinder terms. All that to say, even in the workplace, but definitely outside of it, have some male or female camaraderie (depending on what you are). It’s good for your soul.

29. Check expiration dates
If you do, you might save yourself some sick days. I had some old milk one time. It didn’t even stay down. Take this one seriously.

30. Always take a lesson out of what you’re doing
Look back at your situation you just finished and think “did I do that well? Could I have done it better?”. Maybe even ask for some *gasp* constructive criticism. You’ll learn what you need to learn and you ‘ll be better for it. I promise.

*BONUS LESSON*
31. Appreciate volunteers
Don’t take those people for granted! They take time away from their families, personal time, and sometimes their jobs in order to volunteer for you. Always keep your eyes open for how you can best serve them and let them know they are appreciated. The best way to raise up a great volunteer team is to be a servant-leader yourself. Be the example and have the standard higher for yourself than you have for others. Those people are the whole reason you probably even get paid in the first place. Be grateful.

We Can Be One, my friends
-Kevin

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Kevin McClure is a songwriter, musical artist, and worship leader. His singing & songwriting has led to him touring the United States both as a performer and worship leader. Kevin lives in Omaha, Nebraska with his wife and two daughters. You can follow him on all social media platforms under @KevinTMcClure.